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July 15th, 2015

The Unwritten Laws of Telluride

1. Crosswalks are Optional 

I mean they exist, and it is probably smart to use them, but people usually don’t. Pedestrians cross when and where they want. Don’t argue, just go with the flow. We are on Telluride time.

2. Bikes Rule 

You would think since bikes are smaller than cars, that bike riders would let cars have the right of way, but not here.  I think more people bike around town than drive, so bikers usually just peddle where they want, on whatever side of the street they want and assume that a car won’t smash into them.  I know it does not sound smart, but I have to admit to following this trend, and so far my bike does not have a single dent in it.

3. Car Drivers Take Note of Rule #1 and #2

Since so many people follow rule one and two, cars must be extra careful. You may be driving along and out wanders a group of friends in the middle of the street without notice. SCREECH goes your breaks! And SLAM goes your forehead against your steering wheel. Keep alert - so you don’t hit an oblivious jaywalker and end up with a giant goose egg on your forehead.

4. Smile at People on the Street 

I understand in big cities if you are walking down a street and you don’t know anyone heading the other way, you keep your head straight and keep walking. Well, even if you don’t know someone, here, you still smile, because that’s nice, and we are friendly people. Most likely you either know them or they know somebody you know anyway, that’s just the kind of town we are.

5. Have a Dog OR Pet a Dog OR at Least Comment About the Cuteness of a Dog

This rule is not as defined, but it definitely applies to most of the population. I mean this whole town is literally calling for dogs to live here. Don’t take it from me though, take it from a real Telluride dog.

6. Join Telluride Sweet Deals

Telluride Sweet Deals is a Facebook group that is mainly for Telluride locals and pretty much everybody is on it. The posts range from selling things, to wanting rides, to missing dogs, there is no limit to what you can find on that page. If you tend to be a more sour fellow consider joining Telluride Sweet Rants and Bitches instead.

7. Ski/Snowboard 

I mean really, why else would you live here? You are basically located on a ski resort, with endless terrain to explore, and great snow almost all season. I am not really sure what a person would do here in the winter if they didn’t take advantage of the beautiful mountains around them.

8. Be Active, Like All the Time

When I first moved here, I assumed that people would do very active things, but I never realized the extent to how in shape everyone is. There are so many outdoor exercise activities to do, I guess people need to be in shape to participate in anything interesting here. Instead of going to a mall to hang out with friends, people go on a hike! I am not complaining one bit because I love hikes. But just be prepared that people here, enjoy working out.

9. Plastic Bags are NOT ok

I know that in almost every chain grocery store they give you unlimited plastic bags, and you don’t think twice about it. But here, that is not the case. There was a movie called Bag It that came to Telluride, and it changed people’s whole perspective on using the hard to mention bags. I mean they have paper bags at the for the people who don’t understand, but they cost extra, so if I were you I would bring reusable bags to avoid judgmental stares in the checkout line.

10. Never Tire of the View

Even though taking pictures of our view, is a very touristy thing to do, we ALL still do it. I mean, can you blame us? Every day there is more water, or fewer clouds or a little bit brighter sunset. So we will never get tired of showing off the magnificent place we call home. 

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